Sunday, February 7, 2010

contentment

Sms, Stupid machku singh, as the pup has been named, is sitting on the bed chewing her new toy. Male Monica and Mad Mallu are siting and smoking, talking about inane drunk stories, the kind that always makes them smile. There is something about the jest that a mallu man has, show him a drink and no matter where, it seems to be a party. ;-) having lived around these guys for a while there seems to be a unmistakable trend!

Something happened last night, panicked and woke up even more stressed, prayed, chanted, and light the lamp. nothing was helping kill the distress. As tight as a spring my insides were, used my last option and called my latest pal. Who she is and what she is, is another story.

Don't know how or why but i am a believer, in the occult, energy work, healing, intution, taort, sensing all those so called unscientific things that people scoff at. She calmed me down, in moments, and felt better.

The rest of the day was a dream in comparison. ... bought new clothes, ended with a lovely dinner with the 2 men. There is something magical about open air resteraunts, no matter, where and when, on a breezy night eating below the stars makes one happy automatically.

Saw Revolutionary Road. had it forever, never got down to seeing it. Its a fabulous movie. understood the anguish of kate Winslet so well......

Without taking away from the movie it etches the story, of a couple who start their lives knowing that they are special, that they will lives that shall not be stuck in routine, but slowly they become just that... married, man works in the city, the 2 kids arrive, and the hollowness monotony of her life, drives her MAD. She wants to FEEL LIFE, experience it, and KNOWS that it is not to be found in more money or bettering their lives there. She wants to OUT, wants to move, to Paris, to wherever, with the agenda of feeling that tingling in the bone marrow.

Think that inherent ` `` (pup typed ;-) that) restlessness is me, that discontentment with routine, that is allowed to consume you, where the WHY you are doing stuff is less important than the what you are doing.

Guess its me, just not knowing quite y i am simmering with restlessness with this place. know its stemming from inside, may the answers to this come soon, may change come soon, may soon come soon!

To a new week! doing makes me happy, realization of the week.