Thursday, February 11, 2010

Blonde episode 2

Got an almost challan today.  BLONDE MOMENT OF THE DAY

As usual was lost in someother world, was driving on auto pilot, forgot to see the little flashing red lights, that the world must adhere too, was cruising at a happy pace, tapping fingers on the steering wheel, in my flashy red car, wearing a flashing pink chunni, when the daydream is broken  by the cars in the opposite direction coming STREAMING AT ME!!!

HAALLLLP! I yelled, braked and for sure caught the attention of the Cops. The bechari act, did not match the costume, the cash less wallet did not see any sympathy either, and was sent marching to the closest ATM to withdraw funds.

Remember how my dear bank around the corner, was driving my mind to go to extreme corners of anger, yea well the ATM pin they sent me seems not to like the CARD they sent me. So now the card and the pin, refuse to have anything to do with each other.  Of course, the cop was not going to believe any of that, and would have Blackberried my license to oblivion ;-(

Thankfully, ATM card 2 had some miniscule amount of money in it that saved the day. Marched back to the car, with the forehead creased against the sun, where the neighborhood cop was waiting to do his thing.

In halting English he explained to me that if he was to press the green button my license would have strike one against it. Strike 2 and 3 and I could say bye bye to license across India. I continued to crease my forehead and look spastic. He stopped talking and asked me if I understood.

I did the ONE THING I have learnt in South India, the head nod, in all directions that the neck could rotate. The morning yoga has left it nice and loose in any case. He paused, and repeated halting explanation of the horrors that foretold my license. Same nod…. With puppy face look. And sweetly interspaced lines saying “Kannada illa”. ;-)

He patted me on the head, by now he was sure I was a retard. Told me that dangerous driving, is well dangerous, that he shall not cyber stunt my license and I shall go. That’s when the spastic me, came to life, decided to try my luck and actually asked if he wanted to refund me a 100 bucks! Since was ATM stuck and cash less now….. that’s  when he did the South Indian nod to me, only I had the wisdom not to pat him on the head ……….

Rs 600 lighter, one car insurance paper missing and an afternoon adventure complete. Yea well the day is not that bad after all.

Bonus Post!
Random Observations of the day
  •  Women do not eat alone at restaurants, if they do men look at them strange. Men eating alone, ignore
  • Formal pants and floaters is never cool and shall never be cool. Get shoes dam it
  • Belly or not, tuck your shirt, else u look like a politicians pimp.
  •  Wearing sunglasses while talking to someone at the lunch table is not ok. Unless of course, u are sitting in Greece, are wearing aviators, look yummy overall and the sun happens to be dancing over the sea, then it’s another matter ;-)
  • Average Indians, love to do 3 bodily acts (i) chomp on food with mouth semi/full open (ii) dig nose, fart and scratch their genitals (iii) be open and honest in how they stare at you. Open feedback on the roads always.
  •   The lift guy had a better cellular than mine. A 10,000 rs Samsung, and all he does is presses buttons on the lift! WTF? My degrees were a waste of my life