Thursday, June 24, 2010

calmness

Yesterday was not a great day. Today shall be better. I am done bemoaning the hows and whys of what happened and instead want to focus on the now and the tomorrow. Much better attitude and idea i think than lame laments

Its interesting the sequence of people that i reach out to when it times of woe. those are the pillars that you have for that point of time and the remainder of friends exist, but are more peripheary to existence

A few interesting things did take place yesterday....

i)  i refound the calmness that comes with yoga and kriya, sitting on the roof top, with my eyes closed i hovered over the lake and slipped into the silence that is so quiet and ever present non questioning. I sat there and watched my breath and when ready to face the world i opened my eyes, i saw all the bats hovering in the sky as they left the trees for their nightly stroll 

the beauty and gorgeous interplay of all creatures convinced me that its ok.. life is ok... in the infinity of life all if whole and complete!

ii) mom returned from leh/ladhak and while she had a good time, she openly acknowledged that they were the safe travelers. Got a car, went to a spot took some pictures, ate the packed food of alloo parathas from the hotel and came back glowing with the emptiness of the leh landscape. She was surprised at the number of foreigners at the place and how each of them was seemingly so much more meshed into the terrain.. walking more, meeting more locals, going to more obscure locations etc etc ... 

havnt we seen that happen to ever so often.. the "hippies" as the explorers were refferred to while growing up somehow had a knack of getting to choose the prettiest spots, the quietest lakes and be there... of course not all were the peaceful kinds but there is something in the back- packer mentality that makes the world this huge play ground to work with.

Had a confrontation yesterday. The closing has to happen today. There is a knot in the belly. a Fear. - the fear is simply one of listening to someone say that i failed them. know it is more than likely to happen more than not in life, but makes me feel very sad... like i am loosing some part of me. Sigh!