Woke up to not knowing what and where I was doing, was technically working for a lot of ppl had a lot of work to do but was not really adding value to anyone and least of all to myself. The prevalent feeling was one of not having achieved enough.
So yesterday.. clear conversations with the multiple bosses happened. And without anger or grievance management there was a resolution that seems to have emerged. How this shall pan out, I do now know
1. The realization that the developmental world and me shall always have a passing flirtation and not a deep love. Meaning; the work that I am to do with P is on its last month. Feel more relief than fear of what next, because it lets me focus my energy on the area of 1 thing. the corporate consultancy that wide spanning everywhere
Deeper learning 1 and 2
- working for 2 ppl never ever works; for one. and I do not have the patience requisite for the NGO pace of work.
- I am adamant about my financial targets. Not because I am greedy, but there is a lust to travel. need to earn well; in a high currency and this is a non negotiable as this is the only way left to travel....!!!!!!!!
2. I need a systematic office to work with. Am getting one come July 1st and that is a great feeling to have colleagues, regular office hours and am prepping myself up for a bigger corporate job.
So the clear action plan that has emerged is this. After the 6 months of experimenting that defined this year, the next steps are
1. Deep dive into the Corporate strategic and innovation consulting - focus on one
2. use the flexible work life to learn and sharpen skills of - bike lessons, german, fitness and photography
3. Long term- get ready for a corporate job - international clients and cultural needs that shall give be (i) the travel lust i seek (ii) get me the nest egg- for the yoga studio and self development and (iii) provide a platform for moving out of India in the next year or so.
4. Before I take on this job, use the savings of this year to do a long trip... as a free backpacker
Whew!!!! Now that there is a semblance of a plan and a goal.. i get the one thing that i wanted . Clarity of what and where am i heading
My mantra remains the same, to do consulting work using behavioural matrices for different entities, permitting me to travel and experience the world. The routes keep changing the goal remains...... the same- de-cluttering for the now has made making these choices a lot easier than not....
Blondie grows up.