Monday, April 12, 2010

Taliban Bikinis

The Taliban have a whole new customer base. Post the Afhgan war and the entire depleting economic situation, they had to do the inevitable and recreate their destinies. 

Learning a lesson or two from the thrifty "once upon a time we were refugees now we are millionaires" Indians, they decided to leave the comfort of the hills and get down to the passive land of sweet idli- dosa where there would have been little or no resistance to the Taliban coming in..

ok i am being a bit too mean but todays swim was an eye opener or more aptly eye shutter in many ways!

In short we went swimming. PAUSE. what are the images that came to ur mind? the beach? Baywatch, hot girls in one piece swimming costumes.. even if u are an indian reader, and unfortunately have been swimming in the Indian clubs and have been made to witness Indian Middle aged aunties with several layers of body fat oozing out of them

But today i need to salute them for being brave, brave enough to wear a single piece and still swim, brave enough not to be talibanised

Bangalore women have not been as brave! Shameful

So here are the ranges of swimming costumes that grace the pools of this city

1- The salwar kameez swim suit

   Its a latex contraption that looks like a tight kurti and tights, and is full sleeved. I thought that they had forgotten to take off their clothes before realizing that this is what they had hunted for and purchased with much thought and consideration.

2.   The cycling shorts/skirt kind

All can be shown to the world but the upper legs read as thighs have a strange allure and if men were to see them then they shall positively be compelled to rape the women, this is hence needing for everyone to make sure that the swimming costume is annexed with some form of leg protection otherwise their entire social life is at stake.

3.  Shoulders Sheen

this one is where u can do all that you want but you cant expose the shoulders at all!! that is not allowed to happen, so they are covered with shoulder patches and long sleeves, short sleeves and looks much like a saree blouse string to a costume!!!!!!

4.  Boxers and Noodle Strap

Our enterprising northeastern friends did not see the sense in investing in a costume in the first place and decided to slide in their nice boxer shorts and a spaghetti, the men were not complaining and we with our Speedo gear were wondering who had read the swimming manual wrong!!!

The men are the same across. They mostly stand at the rim of the pool and watch event these daintily clad swans  frolic in the chlorine pool. The only symptom of being alive is darting eyes and like crocs, seem to dive into the water at the exact moment any women is doing a lap to fake a direct bang and then they look content with a weekend well spent!!

MEN.... these are TALIBAN women,.. get a grip