Monday, April 26, 2010

have urs?

Riddle. 

No woman can have enough of these. Every girl has at least one of these. Nothing can ever replace these and they usually come with a life long guarantee clause. Often subjected to abuse,  neglect and abandonment, they are still usable needing only a shaking down and some gentle prodding to pull back into shape. Never easy to be around, annoyingly accurate and irritatingly supportive these are non purchasable and non trade-able. 

These are those freaking things called Girl friends. and in my life, some men are my best girl friends. Can we bury the no man can just be a friend argument already? Have more than enough man girl friends and no its a compliment not an insult. 

It takes a special kind of relationship where u can be ur grouchiest best and the person still does not want to abandon you at the closest dust bin. And man was i in a lousy mood that morning. 

First of all it was hot. Sunny blazing hot. In that disgustingly hot day, i had to visit not one but 2 doctors, my head hurt, was sleepy and morose, M was nowhere close to returning, my stitches were threatening to split my scalp open and the email not working.. aarrggghh! and just as i was leaving home the CENSUS people showed up wanting to know my caste, dads name, marital status.. ...... y y cant these questions change? 

And then, and I know the moment I write about the next episode, I shall come across sounding like the super bitch of the century but what is IS. So after that incredible start to the morning, I get into the red Tata and am about to leave the house, when the guard informs me that no matter what I cant leave for another hour.

Confused look means that he leads me to the narrow lane that marks the exit from the building where a ambulance is standing like a resolute bull refusing to budge. Reason, someone in my lane passed away a few days ago and the last rites were taking place in the house courtyard. Once they were over, they were to going to load the ambulance and move.

Right, I get the criticality of the moment, I appreciate the fact that it is not the easiest situation, but I also don’t get the assumption that it is completely allright to stop everyones elses life and get away with FEELING SUPERIOR at continuing with the non accommodative behaviour.

For 45 minutes, I stood on the lane, with the red tata sending more than subtle hints to the complete disdain of any motion. To make it worse 2 ppl came and told my guard to get me on a Good Behaviour Leash as this was a society moment of grief!

Ok whatever, its not about this exact moment but the assumption that collective need is morally entitled to overcome individual wants. Mr. Coffee my Delhi best friend for 5 consecutive weekends was driven out of his house, by the compulsive need of his neighbours to have something called a JAGRAN through out the night, where because u invoke the gods you are permitted to blast the loudspeaker till the sun peeks through …but remove DEAR GOD and have Pink Floyd blasting and rest assured the next morning a letter to vacate shall accompany ur newspaper.


You name it. Durga Pooja – Stopping roads allowed. Ganesh Chaturthi- Allowed. Janmasthmi procession allowed. Sitting on the side walk at 11.00 pm talking to GR on the park bench, in tones that the ant sitting next to us could not catch; NOT ALLOWED. Because its indecent for a man and a women to be out alone at that hour. May not be the best comparison but it speaks of a prejudice that does exist.

So by now steaming like a kettle I drive cross country to N’s place. Yelling at fellow cars, honking every 3 minutes am the epitome of bad female cussed driving. Reach her place, barely hug her before launching myself on the bed, gracing the pillow and refusing to move till my head cooled down.
Feeling dizzy, I help myself to food while she potters with the internet connection fixing thing. Eat my fill play with the pet and feel a semblance of calm return.

Know u are good friends indication 1

·         You feel no hesitation in opening the fridge door and prodding the contents to see what you like. Finding nothing appealing u feel no hesitation in fixing ur self a snack.

N dragged me out. Accompanied me to doctor one, yelled at my stupid attitude towards my health in general, did not rat about me to the doctor even though she was dying to. Without complaining, let me remain the lousiest grouch as I went and cussed at the Emergency Room attendant when he refused to remove my STITCHES and all the babies began laughing at me.. all she did was take my hand get me painkillers head to the air-conditioned café coffee day and let me slouch till the coffee did its trick.
Know u are good friends indication 2

·         When you know how to just take control of the situation and do so without being asked

And then the best time awaited us. We headed upstairs to the pampered land called Salons. The sweetest man hair dresser, who had cut his finger just recently during a bike accident had empathy. He saw me and knew that salvation lay in a shampoo.
Magic hands and thoughtfulness meant he did whatever it took to get me out of my misery. Half standing, bent over, in the most embarrassing posture ever the grime of the accident was rinsed, leaving me lighter than ever before.
N just stood there taking idiotic pics with her phone, before we sat like 2 princesses and got the full treatment. Manicure, Pedicure, Massage were all permitted because we sat and yapped nonstop about men, dogs, bosses, others, non-others and cackled about the hideous nail paints we could get.
The level of conversation was so juvenile that this women next to us enquired which college we went to. We decided then and there to write in to Santoor! So what if she said so because of our lame conversation and nothing to do with our looks!
Know u are good friends indication 3

·         Spending an afternoon lazying together does not need a pre-planned agenda

As the rains came we chatted on about the unknown tomorrows that faced us. And she was more excited than me about my life, more nervous, probably more cautious. But knew that letting me be was all she could do.. and did.

Drove back home non sulking and non anxious.
Warm and content like a cat that has spent hours before a fireplace, being stroked to sleep
To each of my girlfriends, lets have more afternoon like these!