Wednesday, October 20, 2010

sinful starts

One of the most sinful ways to start a Sunday, is to wake up, curl back into bed, get the basics of a coffee arranged and then crawl back into bed with a movie on. AAAAAAAH!! bliss. yes i know its the lazy mode of operation, and there is a lot more that one can attain in a day if one moves, be active etc etc

but sinful mornings are movie marathons in bed, curled in and engrossed
Where one can be disdanfulyl garfield types

As one movie traded place with the other, I became less and less aware of time. Meetings with friends that were vague plans were not followed up on and the day was allowed to slide on a slow pace of nothingness

Made me realise that I had become one of "those"

Those- being the friends who once they got married, you knew you were wishing them farewell for at least a few years before they resurfaced into wanting to be there and re connecting. The ones who seemed to float into a void that contained them and and their immediate family unit.

As shocking as this realization was, the more surprising thing was that I was totally all right with it.!!!

Disgusting really, how contentment has lead to some level of dis engagement from a lot of the people that I truly do care about, but for the first time in years have made peace with being the passive one not needing to be engaged in calling and plan making, but willing to let others take the lead and if they dont, its fine as well ;-)

hmmm its a strangely ok feeling, know in the gut that i should reach out more, do more etc etc, but for now.. i think i shall watch a movie!