Its Sunday night and am sitting in a relaxed setting. The dog is by my legs, 2 walks have been undertaken, work set for the week, the lights are yellow and a super holiday in a series of holidays has been completed, yet it feels at some level exhausting and tiring. Wonder where this draining feeling is coming from.
What is missing?
Balance? exercise? meditation?
At least i know that it is not travel ;-) if there is one thing that the Germany trip and the travels showed me as a lesson is that I am ready to grow roots, to get a routine that works in a place, no matter what the place is. As I spoke to fellow seekers in the Berlin ashram and met people who had come from Australia, to Romania, to Berlin to settle there and discover who they were .. a deep sense of fatigue began setting in.. all i wanted was to crawl back into getting into a routine that was more balanced and routine and within this get something BIG to happen
BIG- Maybe this is work, maybe it is running a marathon, but think the answer is somewhere in making a difference to me and others, maybe at someplace some time getting something mamoth to happen. Like the Steffi Graf and Agassi foundation- that is raising money.. or some who are getting education. The time will come to nose dive, know that I am collecting my dots, and the next decade shall be about stringing them together.
As a wise Berlin man told me, there is a set time for everything and you cant rush it
Waiting and enjoying the wait is wise