Friday, November 26, 2010

Relationships are built on very fragile threads.  Here I don’t mean only the romantic relationships, but each bond in the form of your partner, parents, colleagues, friends, acquaintances, the neighborhood guard- almost each person has a format of interaction that gets developed with time.

They are the greatest teacher and the biggest deceivers.  Somewhere in the middle of one, the relationship gets a life of its own- people stop thinking of what they want, and make the other person more important.
The first masks comes up.

Honey, will you meet me tomm? I would love to spend some time in the evening with u… the accurate answer may actually be- aah! No!!! I have shit loads on my plate being a Monday morning and cant make the time and come all the way, but instead the answer that comes is.. sure thing, shall definitely try and come there

Both parties are happy.  One building a dream evening, the other content with a commitment that has been half promises.

Lies said for the others benefit, to keep things from heating up.

We all do it. The frequency and the extent may vary but somewhere down the line, we find it easier to be franker with our friends and colleagues that with the closest relationships we have. Don’t want to hurt them – or worse don’t want them to know who we really are, because then they maynot love us anymore.

Phew, finding myself a close spectator to the turmoils of a friends relationship has made me wonder. IS there a better way ?

Don’t have one.  The breakup of a relationship that somehow you allowed to become central to your life, sweeps the ground off your feet. Nothing makes sense, you cant eat, cant stay away from the phone the only person you want to speak with is the one person you should not reach out to.

You try to seek solace with friends and family… half heartedly head for that concert and movie. A shadow to yourself.  Your inner movie consuming all your space and attention. .. it takes a long time to bounce back from something that you cherished.. smooth nothings referring to destiny, many fish in the sea, there is something better waiting for you are words that fall off like drops of water on the surface of a lotus.

You cry, and sigh. Smile at the times gone by. Cringe when someone takes u to the same resteraunt. Miss holding a hand at the movies, and wait for a hug.

The good news is that it does get better.  You smile for no reason again. Buttercups in the rain are enough to make you happy and the happy you gets someone new ……. And there is one tiny difference- this time you KNOW that no matter what you will be OK.  

you will