Na, La, Jo, No, Nahin, Lela, there are several and more ways of getting this one word across. But seems that Indians with our plenitude of languages, have not got the hang of making use of this one word.
There was a thread started by a bunch of female travellers, who are used to hosting people on couch surfing. These are people who have made the art of being a good host, so refined that they have let their personal lives go to hell for the sake of being a good host
A lady opens her house on Diwali night to a couch surfer who decided to drop in at 10 pm, and despite knowing that the house is full suggests at 12 am that he shall now wander in the city to find a place to sleep, resulting in.. yes you guess it the lady offering him a mat on the living room floor and the man getting away with the attitude of .-- come on i am just sleeping on ur couch
3 girls come into womens house, dont assist in anything not even dumping their plates in the sink, make no plans to see the country, wait for the hostess to organize their day complete with drops and picks and even get her to pay for the transport....
There was an example 3, 4 and 5. In my experience there has never been an experience this bad, but the way I see it the blame on the hosts as well.
- Use the word NO.not ok. tell people and take action. I have seen people close to me use that word and make it clear when things are not ok
- Be nice, be polite, but dont kill yourself in the process. There is a figure it out kind of travel arrangement that does not need molly coddling
- Let them help, and allow them to be involved
And for heaven sakes lets not be hosts that are so soft that you forget that this is at the end of the day your home, a place for you to relax into.