Paused

Today has been a pause day. The body is asking me to stop and pause and not move at all. Since the morning its been one of the incapable of anything but deep sleep and despite 3 hours of sleep can fall back into bed again.

Have come home after 4 days and it feels like something is missing when i am here.
When i am there, the house there seems to be as much home as not
must have been a gyspy before, to be able to slip in to others spaces without much trouble

Met someone very interesting yesterday, this guy spends Rs1000 daily feeding 30 dogs with Chicken Biryani, every evening, He sends his boy to get the stuff packed and each dog on the road knows the time he shall come and start queing up.

Each gets one packet, the rice is devoured and life resumes itself.
such selfless giving is incredible. and happens on street corners without us even being aware
there is much to learn if we only keep your eyes open to all that is taking place

Feel the need to get myself a pet. A dog, but cant till there is some semblance of routine that life becomes used to
Feel the need to retrun to the gym, can and shall when the body permits me too

Yesterday, after ages there was a feeling of relaxation of just smiling and knowing that it is all allright seeping into my bones. Simmering tension of several months began seeping out and was replaced by a its ok, life is fine kinda feeling.

The shoulders is where the tensions stays. always hunched up and tensed
someone told me to just let go and be, not hold on too tight to the what ifs
there is not much we can do to control it in any case
learning the lessons slowly
hoping i dont have a fever
for today its a slllooow day