Friday, February 4, 2011

Y so much Guilt?

What is it about having sex that makes us think and over think it. Even as I type the first line I can see the rivers of controversies brewing internally

Isnt sex about intimacy? the purest form of giving and sharing me? isnt it sacred and something akin to divine? isnt it the one thing we cling to in relationships.... if he/she loved me she would not have strayed.. its becomes a test of our credibility and character.

But all the above holds true when one is in a relationship. Whether its a fair binding or not within a relationship is not what this post is about. Indulge me - by parking sex in marriages, live-ins and relationships aside for the moment. Lets focus our attention on the single, the semi attached, the maybe we dating but still too early, the getting over a break up stage, the just entering college and those who are just happier being unattached. 


Interestingly even here, there is not a gay joyus celebration of intimacy, of selfishly indulging your bodies and your carnal desires.... instead often even where there is a surge of physical desire, the mind and the heart comes in to make statements about 'how its not appropriate'. 'they cant let them selves be used', or worse the other is only here for sex and not for the person...

Sex then far from becoming about your own mode of celebration, becomes a bargaining tool. A GOLD MEDAL that both parties try to wrestle from the other. Mind You- I have nothing against flirting or good old dating, in fact I think both are ART forms .....!

What I dont seem to understand - is Self Whipping that is on. Where one does not simply allow yourself to ACCEPT that your bodily cravings, that there is nothing self defeating by celebrating that ... and how its not about putting yourself low.

So what am I saying.. all right everyone lets become the worlds best sluts ? or hey men- see you had it right all along?

No

all this is about is- delayering the multiple meanings that we have attached to the action of sex. Its giving your self a license to allow yourself to be and breathe... to flow once in a while and be spontaneous. to know that sometimes there are connections between people that may- not end in a relationship... but for that time its there and its real and its OK to want to explore that. It does not make you a flippant person.

If in that one moment. You are in a space of calmness coming from your insides and not manipulation for yourself of the other. ... then its shall be your gift to yourself. The other person a fellow traveller in his journey .. and the two of you co- passengers whose paths met for a bit.

Live a little. There is only that much time.