acknowledge

It hit me that I am not listening to myself.  In the rush of life there is a lot of things to be done, firefighting here, fire fighting there, meetings here and there, travel now, get the flight, decide this, decide that, move this, sign up... I have allowed myself by myself to become flustered and knotted.

These knots are not unwinding in a hurry, each knot has a rope coming up leading to the other knot, a quest for answers within answers that take place. In this hustle that I have in my mind i need to Pause for me, to rediscover what and who i am.

Self preservation.

This is where it is stemming from.
I have a dream and believe in it, and am so very keen to begin living it
that i cant wait.
yet, there is a little demon inside that tells me .. what if it does not happen?
what then..
life teaches u lessons
learn from it

Yet there is the need to give the dream all it needs
fuel it, flame it and let it leap to life
between the practical and the emotional
am not sure where i stand

all i know is that its finally time to acknowledge that inside of me
i am not ok
i am not at ease
and i am scared. very scared.

Sitting in office with weepy eyes, i am reminded of time a few years ago
for me to be good to me
i need me to feel me
slow down
pamper urself and know that its all right

time for the yoga mat to come out again.