Tuesday, February 22, 2011

fainting spells

Its a terrible thing to do, not write for a long time and then and come at the screen, wondering what to drivel here about. As usual there is so much that happens and fades so fast from memory that there is little left to recall but here goes.

Its a super duper day in Bangalore, the rains came, the clouds are here and there is a breeze that is just super tempting .. it calls out to you to come there and make merry, jump in the puddles, run in the rain, get the cycle out and strap yourself on it wheeling and yelling as you head downstream.. instead I headed to office and despite the long long drive was super happy.

So hence its proved. Sun = Sad me. Clouds = happy me. 
In fact I hate the sun so much that I faint when made to stand in the sun for too long. hmm actually I can faint in a number of occasions, one is made to stand in the sun, then see blood.. mine - urs anyones... and sometimes when i have fever.

This is actually news to me. All my student life, I hated morning assemblies. The standing in the ground, - March Pasts- what the hell is the point of a march past? carrying a flag and romping up and down the ground with some silly uniform on you and the arms moving in some posture.
The obsession with screaming out - Squad left turn and right turn,,, and then watching as everyone turns looking like some puppets strung up on keys... 

(think i hate them that much because I never ever got selected on the squad, ever)

Moving along, think I shall cite some of my most dramatic fainting spells. They never ever happen when I want them to.. and never as a student.

Memory 1

Sitting in Cafe Coffee Day, a long time ago when all of a sudden there was a crash. The glass a friend was drinking from cracked, crashed and she got a cut on her palm. Being a doctors child she rushed to the hospital which happened to be across the road and howled. The nurses wanted to bandage her and give her a teatnus shot, but she wasnt in the mood at all.. she wanted mommy. So the nurses called me.... to hold her down Fair enough. 

I went behind her, was talking to her and my eyes were looking at her wound. Net reaction, I became woozy, she continued yelling and the nurses threw us both out as soon as she could.

Memory 2 
Community blood donation camp. I am just a few months short of 18. The camp rules state that one must be above 18 to donate. I am elated and the guilt of the Kargil Soldiers not getting my share of blood feels a little better. But being a responsible citizen I feel that I must do my two bits and so.. I decide to solace those who were donating blood.

Armed and Confident I enter the room. See mommy friend stretched out on the stretcher. Stand next to her and begin to praise her, her courage, her karmic points. She is nervous... and asks to hold my hand. I gallantly extend it to her. Resolute in my stance.

The needle is taken out of the packet. Cotton swabbed on the veins, the nurse finds the right point and inserts the needle in. I STILL stand, then the blood comes. Trickles through the pipe, from the pipe into the bag, sits there.. can see the red river flowing out.. ominous, thick.. like a snake with a life of its own. 

My head begins to get lighter. I hold on to the ladies hand tighter. Seeking solace from her than giving her any. As my hand clutches hers, she reacts, contracting her other arm.. causing more blood to come spurting out. phhheesshhh... phhussssh.. like jets of bloody red rivers

Hmm the confident me collapses on the bed.
Is escorted out and asked to please leave

So much for that....

Memory 3 and 4 

Memory 3 and 4 - are clubbed because they have 1 thing in common. In both these spells when i fainted I dreamt about Shah Rukh Khan, and when I was made to wake up.. I remember being very cross because the dream was far better than reality. 

Memory 3 saw a recovering from fever me, tired of being bed ridden and determined to get some fresh air. I head out of the house to the local fruit seller. The house was new, and none of the neighbors or other people had any clue who i was. Badly dressed in flappy pajamas and over sized T shirts I commence asking the price of papayas and the rest.

The man stacks them on the counter. I start leaning on it too. Trying to make sense of the maths and the squiggles that count as numbers, they seems to be swimming. The last thing I remember is that they were all dancing on the page....and then............................................. zzzzzzzzzzzz

nothing... Shah Rukh Khan is dancing in a giant depression in the ground. Vivid hues of drapes are there giving a glimpse of the sky, a south indian swing appears, he hops on and is dancing on it.. the heroine is making her entry, its a shot of her back.. she is moving slow n sensous, he is about to twirl her... 

ARREY!!!! wake her up.. which house? Guard Guard... hmmm WTF?? I wake up to see me on the ground, no actress in sight and am escorted to the house, promptly faint in the lift again and sleep!. So much for the fruits.......

Memory 4
1 bike, 2 people. 2 buffalo's and 1 farmer. Farmer ties buffaloes to each other and dies them jet black for fun, then to increase the comic appeal decides to make them walk in the middle of a crowded highway. The 1 bike 2 people- decide to be smart and to overtake the series of cars on the left.

The bikes see the buffaloes. 
The buffaloes ignore the bike
Bike gets mad, and decides to go through the 2 buffaloes
Except the buffaloes-- were well .. tied

Bike hits Buffallo 1, is tossed on to bufallo 2. 
Both Buffallos then move off, without much ado
the bike is on the ground as is me. 
along with a crowd watching like bees

I am dragged to the road, wake up. declare that I am fine.
Touch my hair, feels weird
see my hand and see red
fall on the closest man..,.. and slide off him onto the road

Shah rukh khan twirls the heroine.. its none other than Kareena Kapoor, they are singing on the swing.. a lot like the zobee doo bee song in three idiots.. I am deeply asleep enjoying the spectacle.....

Water ... I pop my eyes open. and yell.. WHAT!!! LET ME SLEEP!!!! only to see that there are about 20 ppl looking at me, that i am on the road.. and sheesh, well cant be allowed to sleep there!!!

Hmm.. so far that was the last fainting spell. 
shall keep u posted if and when the next one emerges.
Till then, no sun no blood.