Thursday, May 5, 2011

Good Morning Dilli

All right then. I am going through an aunty crisis. For the uninitiated its the ability to feel like an old maid. Lines from Jaded seem to run through the mind, actually not lines just the big fat word JAAADEED... and am not sure why.

Ok I know why. I am missing NEW NEW!

AB called and told me about strange man who had come over at 11 and stayed up till 4 am kissing him in underssing him etc etc. the regular we were up al night. PK is contemplating a photo course next year, AD a move to new york, G is getting married,. GR is sitting in London and for the umpteeth time am feeling like a bleached whale on the imaginary shores of blore

yea yea the work is good. india has the more exciting potentinal yada yada yada. But there is stuff that i need to do. the idea that came up now was that there is a need in me to dedicate some level of discipline, something that i belive in and then stand for. it could be a passion or a thing. its something that u do. that u get known for, fame not necessarily but appreciation maybe.

Hmm, or maybe this is how you feel as you tend to simmer down. Bollocks. dont but that. the more you challenge yourself the more you grow, the more you learn the more you do. the more you do the more you expand and that is how you remain young.

So the challenge is to not waste time. wallowing
this is a bullshit post na. but think its a seasonal mood swing that comes and goes, the feeling that u get once in a while, then get a boost to do something about it and move on

only a few things are cystal clear. this sense of purpose is not about work. have that sorted, it is not about friends or partying, am in the no drinks and the useless lazing around banter is well useless, but in the lets galvanize and do something that is meaningful stage. Write. Post images is one thing that i will do and get a hang of this year. and study, have to do a course abroad, for me its important, mything that i want to create for myself, just have to. its my expansion window. have let fear hold me back, but it is something i wanna state even 20 years from now. that i did study what i wanted to that i know.

so be it