Thursday, January 20, 2011

Turning 30

My mother has this new feedback mechanism, she heads for a movie and then tells me in depth how much particular parts of the movie reminded her of me. Fair enough as statements go, welcome even when the character in question is a young pretty thing like a Deepika Padukone.. and depressing when its some sobby character.

Hmmmm, so off she went and saw Turning 30 yesterday and proceeded to come home and tell me how the modern life was so complex, the need to find oneself and quit smoking now now now... !!! okok! so off I went to see the movie.

Turning 30. That is where I stand, a few months into this year, I shall be doing just that, celebrating my 30th birthday on the 30th of the month.. way too many 30's for me in one go..

The excited Gul or Naina as is her screen name, has been dating for 3 years - she is modern, happy, living a mumbai life and in the midst of it all her rich urban man decides that he loves her but must marry someone else. Thats it. It ends. she is single again.

A regular breakup it would have been, had it not been around the age of 30.. its a women thing, technically though we are dating the men we are with, at a deeper level we are already married, the kids have come, the dog is been trained and the inlaws visits planned. Net to Net- The marriage, the ring and the proposal are mere formalities we know shall come, the only uncertainty is when not if.

At the same time, the 30 year old men are a little more torn. They can see that family looming large and big and at one level lust after it. Peer pressure hits them too. Friends are married, families are being planned, the next beer drinking session is getting to be pushed because the inlaws are visiting..,.. there is a mellow feeling that maybe its time

Yet, there is a desire to remain the young man, the one who can drink all night, get up and run in the morning and be the boy.. This creates another level of confusion within them and when the women get demanding the answer is to run.. often

This is not a male bashing blog, but a reminder of how in the Indian context, the 30 age still has many many layers of expectations strung together.. and meeting them or being comfortable not meeting them becomes a manner of expressing who u are.. without needing to the one who does not confirm becomes a rebel and the one who does a settler..