Wednesday, November 27, 2013

'Resume'ing my life

Yesterday my to do list looked something like this.
- Redo resume
- list top few places I would like to work
- Make an affirmation list - belief is the key
- list placement agencies to apply through

Today my to do list looks something like this
- Redo the resume
- list top few places I would like to work...

The resume. The C.V. The succinct document that in two brief pages, and well drafted bullet points describes you, your journey, achievements, skills, interest, hobbies, languages, age, marital status, desire and cajoles the other person into meeting you.

Guess, 2 pages seems like a luxury compared to the 2 lines of a matrimonial ad, but nonetheless there is this Himalaya sized resistance that I need to tackle each time it comes to resume updating time.

The process itself is simple. Take samples resumes, list down what you have attained and plonk it down in an order that makes sense.

But its so much more.
and I excel at making it worse for myself

Gritting my teeth and resolving to get it done I start with looking at sample resumes. By the time resume three has been read I fall headlong into a deep sense of inadequacy. Neatly in little crisp sentences, people list their lives down. 4 years as VP at New Bank. Ensured client retention went up by 67%, got the overall revenue to rise by 55%. Moved to advisory consulting and ensured increased billings of 90%. MBA from an international school and yea - play the guitar, traveled 45 countries and can dance the can can while dangling from a rope.

Consistency. Fancy labels, and articulate impactful lofty sounding achievements.
Its not them. Its me.

A scattered career - layered with the deep desire to find the 'passion' that drives your work has given me a plethora of life experiences.

My skills include being able to cultivate a never say die attitude, of being able to handle lay offs, success, firings, transfers, mergers and betrayals at the work place. Does living a life not dictated by the boxes of a resume count for an achievement? Does being a geek and learning new things qualify as a skill set?

Even as I write these things down I sound to my own self a sulky little teenager wanting the world to pat me on the back for taking an different path and rewarding me for it. Ha! Sadly the places where I want the pats to come from and rewarding the folks who walked the line of sticking it out worked the long hours, didn't look for soul satisfaction and are now have nicely lined impactful bullet lined resumes.

The grasshopper faces the onslaught of winter.

At the end of the rant is a sheepish realisation. At the end of it all for now I want to be the rat in the rat race. After years of working with start ups, being part of the team, a place where you define the culture not where the culture defines you. I want the other side of the spectrum.

Family outings, trainings, coffee machines, air conditioning, provident funds, international travel. Oh man, yet again I am off to Korea, this time I am carrying MTR packets to survive. As exhausting as it probably will be for a while I want to be that. An octagon wants to squeeze into a square hole.

Alas the first step remains the dreaded resume.
2 pages that shall explain the this and that - which has been my life.

Tomorrow my to do list shall look like this
- Re do my resume
- reevaluate the few places you want to be at..