Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Gymming in Golds Gym

It finally began to work and that at a time when I am almost ready to move from the area! Bloody hell. But keeping the pettiness aside, the gym has finally started and made a few good resolutions yesterday

  • ·         Not drink till December
  • ·         Exercise
  • ·         And follow a smart diet

It’s a strange thing, the moment there is a biggish occasion coming up the first few pieces of advice from well meaning friends come to the women and not to the man. The men pretty much have to show up, get some booze organized and then well show up. Blimey is the world unfair or what.

So here went some of the well meaning options.  In order of the bestnest or the worseness, you be the judge

Advice 1

There is a broth diet that you must try. Basically you make a big bowl of hot water with all the vegetables brewed in it, throw the veggies out and eat the rest. Do this for about 3-5 weeks till you get to see the desired results.  It will only show in a while; but it is a super way to get ur self fit in no time.

Advice 2

Just drink juice, lots of it all the time. Alternatively one can try the carb diet where one does not eat any carbs for 2 days and then has a carb day and then no carbs for 2 days again.  Also heard were the south beach diet, the atkins and for a moment was tempted to get back on the good old GM diet

Advice 3

Drink Green tea the moment you wake up. Run and Jog as much as you can, as often as you can. There is nothing like an occasional indulgence, its all bad and it all adds up. Refrain from all and any forms of indulgences all the time. Fried food is a no –no as are sweets and pasteries that you may want to delight yourself with

Advice 4

From the only parsi baba that I know, eat rich fatty ghee invested food and then run like the wind and smoke up on top of it all. Everything will be fine

Advice 5
Get a nose job.

Advice 6
Don’t bother, its all fixed anyway

Advice 7
Loose the paunch, seal the deal fast, drink lots of water, apply laser on body parts, get tanning facing, get skin glow cream, get lingerie, music, dance classes, language classes, make family happy, talk slowly, and also included is become docile.

Tired of all this and bowing to the universe in gratitude for the opening of the Gym off I went yesterday. The first person I saw was Venkatesh Prasad and then the entire gym opened up, with the yoga and the rest. On one hand it was cosmopolitan, modern and representing urban india with all age groups of people there.  

As I came home to my dinner of soup and salad, a pal called to tell me about meeting a girl for the marriage thing and the poor thing was actually asked to sing for him!!!!! Those things are also a reality was so unnerving that it made me laugh at the madness of it all.

This to me was the madness of India, in the same city a 45 year old salwar kammez wearing aunty could bend and touch her head to the ground, a young girl sang her wannabe groom a song, a man came to repair my car on the road, and advice arnd how and what a girl should look like shone.

India my mad mad nation.