Get up. Get going

With the dawn of the new years, often there is a feeling that life seems to pass by with us wanting more, dreaming more but achieving not that much more.

As in I look back and the things that we had wanted for ourselves – were largely what we will put down even now. Money, travel, love and purpose. Fitness and adventure.

Yet somehow we have not moved beyond this desire. If I was to look critically back at how we have changed over the past 5 yrs, there isn’t that much that I can say that I committed to and achieved. I waivered, I dreamt and I never took the chances. I didn’t work hard hard or feel the dream connect to something that large. I let life take over more than me take control

20-15 was to be a year of charge, of doing things, of success. Yet, I stand here again at Flipkart, with little work, feeling underused and not biting into the apple of achievement. Is it the wrong place, or the wrong team – that is not important. Its about me. Its my pattern at some level and its about me taking charge and saying challenge me more.

These emotions arising from a few random events of the past few days… A line from someone yesterday on Facebook comes and sits inside me. 

Your dreams are not dreams if they don’t leave you scared and trembling

What are my dreams?

Travel the world– yet when I do think of a year long travel there is a sense of deariness, sense of exhaustion that it gets laced with

Move abroad- Yet I do nothing about that either…

And that’s it. I cant even pretend that the other are real dreams – get fitter, get stronger, get more work, raise an awesome child, these are not dreams. This is not a consuming vision.

Safety has dulled my power of imagination.  I dream not.. so I do less. I allow my routine to consume my time off

……………….

It’s the year to reinvent

Dreams come when there is more that we plug do, more that we plug ourselves into. Having multiple channels of expression allows the multiple layers of us to emerge. Its time to dare to dream about the cross country travel across Africa, time to make real the vision of speaking at a conference in China, time to start doing and not only think of it

Small things that I promise to do this year for me.

·         I will get out and do more –  join the fitness group, run those stupid 10kms,  do the headstand and teach yoga in a class

·         Writing workshop – Hone it do the writing class and write a screen play, work more on expressing myself

·         Work more – Allow learning on work to happen, within office and outside. Do the dear imagination, dare to do a stand up comedy show. Do do do – try and fail – be stupid, bbut do

Somehow- this is not the pulse of it. Have written the above but need the boost, the drive the motivation to move

Need to be answerable to get this done. For now – need to get things closed and moved.

Till then this seems to be true

You start dying slowly - By Pablo Neruda

You start dying slowly
if you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice…

To living more