The saga of ppt's

in my little world there is always time for everything. time for a meal to be made, playing with the dog, talking to friends, conversing with mom, calling a cousin, planning a trip and on and on the list moves. There is never not enough time

For everything but work. When it comes to work the world seems to come to a standstill. I labour over it for a long time, taking ages to do something that should have been done and completed a long time ago.

Groan. The world of extendable deadlines, there is never anything missing from it.

On that note its time to return to the world of biogas and start doing some serious ppt making.

tata

Early Morning Vistas

A breakfast meeting at 7 am. I groaned inwardly. Why in the world did I do so. At 6.15 am the phone shrilled me awake, and D yelled into the phone waking me up.

Mumbling something intuitively, I rolled back into bed and cuddled the blanket super tight. It was time to sleep not to have a early morning shower and head out. Bloody hell, but since showing up wasnt an option there was not much choice but to fall off the bed and into the shower.

7.09 am and I had left the building. Given that there was no trip involved it was a first after a long time for me to even contemplate. Driving on empty roads was a relief and felt like slapping the few joggers on the road that were reminders about a healthy life that I vowed to always keep.

Zooming in to the Leela and sitting at the coffee shop. I saw the glowing faces of the largely foreign clientele gleaming at me, bright happy dressed in suits the men were consuming a quiet breakfast ready to attack the day.

Made me remember a early morning birthday that last to last year. at a bleary 5.45 am, the train station was crowded with people, stockings on, heels and make up in place the dark night had a crowded tube with people jamming against each other. The rush hour was on., it wasnt even 6 in the morning. Made me realize the hard life below the surface, the ability to get a lot more done in a day was attained by pushing oneself to do a lot  more every day.

Somehow it seemed a little more possible there., everyone pushed you into doing  more and not settling for less. being fit was all over the place and there was no scope for complacency. Am diverting attention from my own laziness to the environment, however a buzz in a place does have a role to play

the more alive you feel the more you can do
the more you do the more alive you feel
so just do it

buzzzzzzzing

The buzz is on. The pressure is on. Deadlines, timelines, holidays, workdays, the day is here the weeks are here. Time is crucial, make it count. The future beckons, the now remains, there is a lot on, there is nothing happening, there is much to do, there is little to do, there is a speed demon, there are lazy conversations, the mantra is India, its Europe that is exotic, here and now, then and there.

So much to do, so much laziness, so little gets done.

There is a movement mode that is on for the now, thats eating me up. a desire to get on, get going, get seeing, get on, get on. First virgin client presentation on this week. Butterflies in the tummy. thats a good thing to happen because it make me grow

New travel destinations
new places to see
that makes me happy

new moves for friends. new friends being made
new passions to learn
new new new

still there is something that clings on
like algae and moss
there is a lot to see
and life years maynot be

damm this post, makes no sense
shall shut upo and work instead.
goodie goo
contentment damm u

vipassana

I failed at completing the Vipasana.

24 yrs old, a lost cocky law graduate I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. Groping for answers, unemployed and juggling for balance I decided to head to Vipassana to spend time with myself to get to know the answers from within.

A flirtatious meditator and worse a person with limited attention span or mental concentration to stick to any one thing, it was a silly commitment to have made. At 24, it is just one more window of exploration that is opened, one more world that you want to peak into. So off I went. M kept insisting that I was biting more than I could chew. It wasnt easy. It was grueling.

Completing a holiday with friends, and spending a day doing nonsense, I packed my bags. Gingerly looking at the massive gates of the Dharamkot ashram I did not know what to expect, what to sign in for. I stood there waiting for my number to be called and verdict declared.

I was in. Had a room not a dorm. Sharing with 3 other women.
Plonking my bags, I trugded up to the room, getting ready for the 10 days that waited for me.

To do justice to what happened I need more time and more space. Sheepishly also a lot more honesty. The truth of the matter is that in the end, I could not complete it. I cried and cried, cried somemore and had no idea why. As i beseeched the teacher to let me go, she looked me straight in the eye and said that I was leaving an operation incomplete and that it was people like me who needed it the most

Its been several years and the one failing that follows me is this
the inability to spend 10 days in silence with me
one day

ek tara bola

Last night the moon was shadowed by the earth, it hid from view for 110 minutes and then peeped out much later. this shall be seen again in 2141 a time when my presence on earth shall cease to exist and everything that I have in front of me now, touchable, seeable shall not exist either. The world as i now it today would have poofed out. 

I love that thought. it liberates me infinitely. Reason - almost anything and everything that then consumes us will cease to matter, the world will spin, the moon too seasons shall carry on and the in the infinite of the moment all will be as all will be. 

all this above philosophy is my way of making up for the fact that i slept through the entire thing, and did not venture to the veranda to actually see the moon dance with the earth. they move too slowly. i sound blonde!

was a good day yesterday, a peep into flashback time as i visited my counsellor to say hi. She seems for me to be like a custodian of my secrets. and a reminder of the journey that has been done at a personal level at the relationships and the mishaps that have shaped ones life. 

Was a easy reminder that today, these days were the good days. that there was growth and stability, that it had not come easy, and it was time to give one a pat on the back and applaud oneself. appreciating the self was a interesting thing to do. 

A new place to eat is what city joy is about. Returning, we saw the new metro whizz by our heads, the promised tease yet not released.As i said farewell, to a friend off to travel there was a moment of joy, the free road the liberated feeling, the open time and conversation, where one can be and do whatever one wants to be and do.. where one can be anyone anytime.. and the freedom of travel

2 women opened hearts to me. Both 24. Both wanting out, wanting new, wanting dare. but there is something that makes traveling alone seem a daunting task to many, too new too scary. too daring. wish they would try it. it allows u to become u. a little bit more. or be silent with u. shape what u want to be, acknowledge the things that u are about. 

to seeing the world. one bit at a time

Where are we to go?

Rahul ran to school, more nervous than the evening that he went with Shweta to the movies 3 days ago. The results were in. His class 12 board results were being declared today and his tummy was knotted up. So much depended on it. The marks he got would determine his college, his friend circle, his coming of age, his first job, his first gf, his monies, his potential to be picked up for a scholarship for a masters..everything simply everything rested on this.

He was alone. Early. He did not want to have any family around. Though it was a tough thing to even imagine, he hoped that even his friends were not there. Heaven forbid, what if there was an issue? what if someone had not graded his answer sheet? what if there was a kanjoos examiner? what if Rohan got more than him? and if even Nikita, to whom he had taught maths the whole time managed to score higher? what if he could not sit in the Stephens Cafe and call it home.. ..... what if, what if? palms sweaty he wished the auto to go faster, he wished it would never reach.

The gate loomed close, there was no where to go but to the crowded buzzing wall. Kids stood around it, hovering like bees. Some jumping, some sullen, everyone going to check and double check. Tension filled the air, anxiety sweated out from its pores.

The school gated loomed closer, hastily paying the auto driver, he stepped out. hmmmmmmmm, a deep sigh escaped him. Straightening his shoulders, he muttered a short prayer below his breath and took a tentative step towards the sheets that held his future captive.

Shoving himself into the middle of the crowd, he carefully avoided any form of eye contact. Elbows jostled him, he moved on. Shit, he should have carried a pen and paper to take down the marks. Annoyed, he took out his cellphone and retrived the admission number he had strored there.

Prasad
Prerna
Prana
Pranay
Raadha
Radika
Rahul......

His heart skipped a beat. Tracing his finger to the row, he moved his eyes. Code 009 score 91, Code 008 score 88, code 007 score 89, code 006 score 78, code 005 score 93. He blindly took it down, the scores and the codes not making sense.

78! 78!! how the hell did he get a 78?? What was 005? he fumbled around, asking the codes and the papers they stood for. Accounts. - This was not happening, he could not have scored this in Accounts, he was an ace accountant, the rules were made for him he was the stock market whiz kid this was his trump card, this was not real...

Sitting with a thud on the steps he dismissed the laudatory marks on the remaining subjects without a moment of recognition. Reality hit him. The Cafe was gone. Poof went the Stephens tag. Hindu, SRCC, Hansraj the list of names reverberated in his head. Cut off marks from last year mocking him, mocking his marks. 98%, 97%, 95% large numbers, meaningless numbers.

KiroriMal.. the very name made him shudder. He was not a Kirorimal person he would not be one ever. Venky - images of ugly men loafing on bikes smoking made him close his eyes in mock horror. He held his head in his hands and shook with misery. What now what now what now??? the only question that loomed for him remained this.

His phone buzzed. Mom calling. He cut the line. Not yet.
Rohan calling. no way. not now

switching on the calculator he calculated his best of 4- acceptable but not good enough. How could be drop accounts. Dejected, angry and tired. he sat there looking at his school. These steps, just 3 months ago were home, the way to start a morning.

He missed it already. the security of the school bus. plonking yourself on the stairs and fighting with the karamcharis who threatened to throw dirty water down the stairs to push u off. The morning assembly that was a joke, sneaking into class late and sleeping till one was jostled awake.

Tears smarted his eyes. STOP IT, he cant cry here.

Picking himself up. He went once more to the white sheets, hoping the numbers had juggled themselves in the list,. hoping that the cafe would be his morning pitstop once more. hoping for anything but reality.

It wasnt to be. Black numbers remained frozen. Life had stopped.

. 

ping pong ball.

I am like a ping pong ball today.

For a reason that I cannot fathom, have been leaping from my seat and jumping up and down making mental notes to do this or that, running errands and feeling elated about and.. waiit for it the reason cant be more disgustingly gleeful. working.

I am excited about working!!! how sweet is that, excitement to do the work that one is to do is a incredible state to be in because that somehow shows that u are not jaded and not in a state of know it all. done it all feeling.

Nevertheless, there is something that my boss said recently. He said no matter the degrees that you have, or the pedigree that you come to the world with, ultimately it is about the Club that one can say one belongs to. The Club as an entity is very subtle, very backgroundish, but immensely valuable as the Club somehow can pull you along or throw you out.

The idea made me puke, momentarily

As a teenaged outsider, a person who had lurked on the periphery of anything groupy, the idea of a club seemed clanish, like a desperate need to adhere to something. Then i paused and looked at him, chilling with a beer at the airport terminal, he himself belonged to the Club without comprimising on who he was or what he stood for.

Interestingly, it was his 'standing out'  that allowed him to stand in, respect and credibility to this guy. The fact that he himself was an outlier, was his USP that gave him some level of sancicity towards the Club.

This morning a rather interesting thing happened. As we sat around the breakfast table, i showcased to the house the next project that we are a part of . There was a sense of pride that i felt at stating that this is what i could and can do, that this is the scope of my work, and this could be my launchpad.

it made me pause.
For someone who has wanted for ever, since i was a 14 year old teenager to work in  a place where one was not trapped in by the hands of the clock but by the joy of the work one did, there was a sense of arrival that sank in. Though sometimes abstract, and often woolly it seems to me, - i have allowed that to be cast aside at my mind playing tricks on me and having to grumble about the life situation.

a unnecessary hassle not to be given much thought.

overall its good to feel like a orange bouncy ping pong ball.......

Weekly memories

Monday Blues gives way to Friday hues. If there was a rainbow that could change colours with the changing moods of mine it would be one hell of a colourful ride.

Monday was a silly day, spent making lunch at home, taking the cab to move from one Hospital Road to the other, who in the world has 2 streets with the same name in one city anyway? sat and talked about bio gas to the person in a shady office and came home after happily drenching myself in the rain

Stoned i sat below the white new lamps and read that kurt vonegauts book. As madness rained in the kitchen and Oreo Cheese Cake jostled with the pleasures of a MeatBall Spagetti, a 9 people sit down dinner on Monday, lead to a hurried dinner the next day complete with burgers and corn. A DJ frying kebabs while a ambulance noise making girl sat on the couch watching the said white lamps

A bad decision to have a heart to heart, lead to tears and fears. Time came to a standstill and life ground to a halt, ok it did not really do any of those things, but for the moment at that time it sure felt like that.

Wednesday was worse, in the depths of deprivation it came a notch below. my nose leaked and my eyes too, together made a pool the size of winne the pooh near my laptop. I wept and wailed, cried and hailed the dear go make some mistake.

Someone told me they were BIG News! tired, i packed my bags, left work and went home. moping, groping for lifelines that were none.

Turned out there was an exit gate that I had not seen, took the turn. ate Korean food, tried to manage chopsticks, saw Valkerye sat on the floor and also tried to map Leh and Spiti. Woke up with a thud, man left home and i discovered new cushion covers, that made my home. home

Chintamani is a name of a place on a Map. Met Kiran Kumar a 45 yr double phd holder, who had invested his life into setting up Bio gas plants everywhere. The man made us sit in a villagers house, where the sweetest girl was washing dishes while this ugly Turkey was moping around looking for excuses to just bellow into the tinier chickens ears.

The tiny chicken would flap in anger and hop onto the goat, who would bleat in annoyance setting off the dog till the man came the owner in a blue pair of shorts yelling into the dogs ear to SHUT UP.

Work and Obama killing Osama wrapped up that evening, with Big Bazaar rummaging off the shelves. There was laughter and noise and all things nice. Work came with the news of leaves and now all is over as one is looking for 2 weeks of hills and snow and photography yeyeyee

kal aaj aur kal.

The Past, the Present and the Future.
Being Stuck in All Three.

the past


I was carefree, happy and alive. Believed in a simple life. Walking to school, on the eve of a maths exam I waited breathlessly for the time that I would be grown up. I made a plan for myself, hmm given that there was a lot to do in life, I would marry a little late. In the teenaged 13 year old mind, 27-28 was very very late. At 28 I was to be glamourous, very popular, a globe trotter, creative and having a spell binding collection of art, music and literature.

The teenager grew from a somewhat ugly duck to a presentable swan. Life became the mayhem of the 20's. Convent college coupled with inadequate girlie skills made me the last one to get a guy, the elusive boy friend remained a mystery.

Remember walking in the local park in the colony and asking the 1 year older and bf wiser girlpal., what a kiss felt like, and praying everynight for love to come knocking on my door.

Time swept on. Casting the illusions of love to a corner, one made oneself interesting, endearing, the guy between the girls, the easy to hang out with person and with it came friendships, some with strings and some without strings. The teenager witnessed this silently. Approving and Disapproving in the same breath. Approving that there was living happening, risk happening, disapproving the loss of a dream that was slowing vaporising into thin air.

Love happened one day, at the wedding of this same colony walking girl. It came from nowhere, spread everywhere and something happened. Happiness became a fellow friend, dreams cocooned themselves around me and life seemed perfect in the present.

Aaj/the present


The moment that happens, the present becomes happy, the little me wanted to capture it. Store it, hold it to ransom - till it promised that it wasnt an illusion, that she wasnt a guest but a resident. Sign the contract, I wanted to yell at her, that you will stay not only for today but also for tomorrow, and the many morrows after that..

She threw a tantrum
We negotiated
and finally she, stifled by the demands that the future cast on her
left

the present that was happy, alive began reeking of uncertainty, frustration and desperation as the straws to weave a future life from begun to crumble.

But then again, as one looked back at the moment that had just become the past one wondered. Isnt a future purpose a necessity for a sustainability of a relationship? or is looking for a future killing the present? is it even meant to be that complex, cant one just flow from one to the other???

The Future

a house with picket fences, a giant veranda, the teraccota animals dotting the wall, the speakers mounted there the south indian swing, the man the me, the news of the pregnancy, the slow silent dance, the candles in their trapped glass casings, the dog pawing our legs, nandu the turtle snoring in a corner, the french windowed glass, the wine cooling in the jar, the gentle breeze....


somehow this is what i have been fixated on since i can remember


just the fixation seems to be an illusion
time to change - frames? myself? or ...........

reading

the new lamps came up in the living room yesterday. Three white round lamps, that hang down from the ceiling and disturb the sleep of the money plant, the little flowering potted fellow and the dancing leaves nut case of a plant that are the newest residents to the house.

The lighting livens up the room, the lighting is just perfect for the most pleasurable passtime of all reading. Aah, in a book called Virginia Monologues, there was an interesting aspect to reading that was highlighted. As the author  Virginia grew up, she nestled in her room to read and her mother would be on the look out to throw her out to do SOMETHING MEANINGFUL !!!

Reading was seen as the epitome of indulgence, there was nothing created nothing done.

I smiled as I curled into the window seat, of my flight reading those lines. Memories of summer holidays, where the world of words was my guide floated before me. Books and me, cant seem to be torn apart for very long. Its hopeless really, to recall some of the most hideous places where I have read a book... lets see

- the moving jolting car rides on the hills
- on the pot
- in the traffic while driving
- while walking on the roads
- in villages at local tea stalls
- in the parlour while someone cut my hair
- bus stops
- in busses, trams, metros, anything anywhere where someone else was driving
- at the most scenic mountain resorts, where reading seemed impossible to stop vs gazing outside

my mother and me had our book fights too. As a kid, it was but obvious that the fattest largest most racy book would be picked up by me right before the exams. Addiction would come and plonk herself on the desk right in between the Maths and the Geography books.

Baas that was it. The old tricks would be hauled out from the 'outwit mother' cupboard.
Trick 1 - place the book inside the history book. Remember to turn pages of both periodically
Trick 2-  Cover the book with news paper and label it Biology Human Anatomy-II
Trick 3- have an upset belly and sit in the loo for long stages

Mothers ofcourse being genetically smarter, would have to do things like hide the book, ration reading time and worst return the book to the library. That was just too much to bear. Last evening, as I raced through a Kurt Vonnnegut - a man without a country, I laughed at the craziness that books got to ones life.

Curled into the couch, there was a contentment to the moment, an ageing angry man ranted in the book about fossil fuels and the loss of the world, the lamps danced in the breeze and yet again the cities of new york seemed to have a sense of knowigness about them, though there wasnt a physical step that I had taken there.

From truffle treats, the hot chocolate, pixies to candies, from noddy to the world war, it has been only the land of books that has gotten me closer to the truth than the news, made me delve into the layers of universes unknown to me and often ever so often, said something that had rumbled in my belly but never had formed a line a lucid thought of speech

Smiling,I gazed at the clouds lingering below my flight and nodded my head.

it sure was. Reading sure was the biggest indulgence that one had.
one that bought me more joy than even bubbles
a library was a heaven of candy that was non consumable
and a book, a treasure to be opened. 
if all else i loose, let me not loose the joys of devouring a book

Rest Assured

There are some truths that we all know but pretend to do nothing about.
There are some truths that we know and hope they remain true forever
There are some truths that we are oblivious about and maybe like the ostrich notions of it
and then there are some truths that are true only for you. your life and your world.
your notions and beliefs that define you

Here are something that I think for me come somewhere in the above categories

• Life is about relationships. When you die - your legacy is in the form of the people that you met and the lives that touched you and vica versa
• There are no coincidences, something connects us that makes it a mix of your will and the others life to get you where you are today. You are responsible for your life
• Violence is not needed. Almost always. Maybe in self defense but only then.
• Puppies and rain can make you happy. 
• There will always be a crisis, an international conspiracy, a few corrupt politics and it will be white noise that you can choose to accept, change,disregard, or fume over. Either way they shall remain and crop up
• Travelling makes you silent. and joyful
• Nature empties you, leaving space for new thoughts to emerge
• You will be hurt, you will cause hurt, there will be unfair moments and then there shall be moments of sheer success
• Run, walk, move your body its leaves you feeling happier
• As you age, you will not necessarily get wiser
• Your parents were doing the best they can., they get more resolute and fixated as they age. Be kind, you and I will get like that too.
• Drinking is not the answer, its a temporary pass to forgetting
• Butterflies in stomach is a good test to know that you are growing. No action in tummy, no good. 
• There will always be someone better than you, someone not. Comparing - something i do a lot will only make u green, someone is looking at u and thinking the same thing about you.. lucky she.. its a relative life and there is nothing you can do
• Pace it. you will get what you get, when u get it. and there is nothing more one can do about it
• Breathe. Deeply. awarely. there are miracles in there. 

thats all for the now from sadhu me

Detachment is power

Can I ?

1.07 am the To Do list had shrunk itself down.  The Apple had been loaded, images transferred, the dinner made and eaten, the goodnights done. Demands of the world faded like smoke and the peace of the night was a silent presence.

My hands reached for the carelessly tossed book on the bed. For a lark I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer.

Dear uni. For this night and for today, let me open the page on something that I need to re-remember.

Breathed in and out, with the book reclining on my belly and eyes closed. Feeling rather than seeing, I reached once more for the book and opened it up

.

Quoting from Wayne Dyer, You’ll see it when you believe it

‘………….. For me, this is the essence of a marriage relationship at a conscious loving level.  The ability to suspend judgment about how the loved ones should be conducting his or her life, and to love that person as is, is a valuable exercise in detachment. Suspending judgment means honouring her need and right to be on her path according to her own inner directives without my uninvited input. Suspending judgment means also to honour my need and right to feel what I am feeling without judging my feeling as right or wrong. This is unconditional love for myself and my loved one. Unconditional love does not demand that one of us be ’right’  and one of us be ‘wrong’. When you are strongly attached to judging anyone, you are not defining him or her, you are defining yourself.

…….Since I have become less attached to making others wrong and myself right, it is much easier to be with people who view life differently from the way I do. When I do slip into judgment I find that I am much gentler and easier on myself. I  allow myself to have that burst of inner anger for a fleeting moment and again when I allow the anger to seep in, paradoxically it goes.

……..My detachment does not meant that I am uncaring. I care immensely. In fact I care so much that I allow them to make their own way along their path, guiding them here and there, helping them to make responsible loving choices, catching them doing things right as much as possible and always reminding myself that I don’t own them, they own themselves……….’

Reading these words, made me change something. In a life situation where I did not know the answer, I am struggling with the decision of letting go and instead desperately seeking assurance that the end will be what I dream off. Detachment, is the cure? I wondered flopping my head and drifting to sleep.

Last night, I could feel a power back. A sense of acceptance, that made me remember that there is something larger working than me, that things happen when they do, that I can choose too, choose my feelings, my reactions and my choice and choose to not judge what I feel.

For a short time there was liberation

For a longer time there was peace.

Elephant Jokes

The Top 131 Elephant Jokes

Q: How is an elephant like an apricot?
A: They are both gray. Well, except the apricot.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in the refrigerator?
A: The door won’t shut.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator earlier?
A: Footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge in the first place?
A: Open door; Insert elephant; Close door.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
A: Open door; Remove elephant; Insert giraffe; Close door.

Q: What’s the difference between a dozen eggs and an elephant?
A: If you don’t know, I’m sure not going to send you to the store for a dozen eggs!

Q: What the difference between a herd of elephants and a bunch of grapes?
A: Grapes are purple, elephants are gray.

Q: How do you stop a charging elephant?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephants charged?
A: “Look out, here come the elephants!”

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!”

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A: Nothing. He didn’t recognize them.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: “Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!”

Q: What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look! A herd of grapes in the distance!” [Jane is color blind.]

Q: Why are pygmies so short?
A: They listened to Jane, and looked at the plums.

Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t! You get down from a goose.

Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: He doesn’t! Even elephants know you get down from a goose!

Q: Oh, all right. How do elephants get out of trees?
A: They float down on the leaves between 4pm and 6pm.

Q: What do you call an elephant that rides a bus?
A: A passenger.

Q: Why don’t African elephants like to play cards?
A: Because of all the cheetahs.

Q: What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
A: About 3,000 miles.

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don’t sink in the sand.

Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: They’re looking for the elephants that forgot to wear their sandals.

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing: peanuts can’t talk.

Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing: it just let out a little whine.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A₁: She slipped.
A₂: She was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: He was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: He thought it was a game.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because when his mother asked “If all your friends jumped out of a tree, would you?”, he said “Yes!”

Q: Why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What’s gray on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell’s Cream Of Elephant Soup.

Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They’re all on the same team.

Q: What’s gray and has four legs and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on vacation.

Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A: “Sir”.Q  What do you call an elephant with a pink dress and ear muffs?

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?

A: Anything you want: it can’t hear you.

Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.

Q: What’s gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow … ?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth.

Q: What’s gray, yellow, gray, yellow, THUMP, gray, black, blue, gray, black, blue … ?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth, that hit a rock.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: So they can stamp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have such large, tough feet?
A: So they can stamp out flaming ducks.

Q: What’s gray and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey The Elephant.

Q: What do you get when you cross elephants with peanut butter?
A₁: Elephants that stick to the roof of your mouth.
A₂: Elephants that spread easily.

Q: Why did the elephant wear red sneakers?
A: So he could hide in the apple tree.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.

Q: Why do elephants hide in cherry trees?
A: So they can jump out and stomp on people.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over Australia.

Q: What kind of elephants live at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.

Q: What’s convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds?
A: An elephant six-pack.

Q: How do elephants talk to each other?
A: By ‘elephone.

Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: For carrying their library cards.

Q: What’s gray, has large wings, a long nose, and gives money to elephants?
A: The Tusk Fairy.

Q: Where do elephants with skin problems go?
A: Pachydermatologists.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: Eliphino _(Hell-if-I-Know)_

Q: What’s the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
A: You can’t make a paper airplane out of an elephant.

Q: How do you make an elephant float?

A: Take two scoops of ice cream, some soda, and one elephant.

Q: How can you tell if there’s an elephant in the ice cream shop?
A: His bike is outside.

Q: How can you tell if there are two elephants in the ice cream shop?
A: There’s a dent in the cross-bar.

Q: How can you tell if there are three elephants in the ice cream shop?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.

Q: Why do elephants have gray skin?
A: To hold their insides together.

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A₁: Because they’d look silly with glove compartments.
A₂: Because they don’t have pockets.

Q: Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
A: From playing marbles.

Q: Why do elephants have crinkly feet?
A: To give the ants a chance.

Q: Why are elephants large, gray and wrinkled?
A: If they were small, round and white, they’d be aspirins.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sit on your sofa?
A: Time to get a new sofa.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your toilet?
A: Time to run away.

Q: Where do you find elephants?
A: It depends on where you left them.

Q: What do you say when an elephant sneezes?
A: “Gesundheit”.

Q: How do you fit 5 elephants in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

Q: What goes, “Clomp, clomp, clomp, squish, clomp, clomp, clomp, squish?”
A: An elephant with a wet sneaker.

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: Why did the elephant lie down in the middle of the road?
A: To trip the ants.

Q: What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
A: You would miss most of the show.

Q: What is the biggest type of ant?

A: An eleph-ant.

Q: What’s as big as an elephant, but doesn’t weigh anything?
A: An elephant’s shadow.

Q: Why were the elephants kicked out of the swimming pool?
A: They couldn’t keep their trunks up.

Q: Why wasn’t the elephant allowed on the airplane?
A: Because his trunk wouldn’t fit under the seat.

Q: Why were the elephants the last animals off the ark?
A: Because they had to pack their trunks.

Q: Why did the elephant paint her toenails all different colors?
A: So she could hide in a bag of m&m’s.

Q: What would you get if you crossed two fish with two elephants?
A: A pair of swimming trunks.

Q: What should you do to a blue elephant?
A: Cheer it up.

Q: What should you do to a red elephant?
A: Quit telling it dirty jokes.

Q: What should you do to a yellow elephant?
A: Teach it to be brave.

Q: What should you do to a white elephant?
A: Hold its nose until it turns blue, then follow the directions for a blue elephant.

Q: What should you do to a green elephant?
A₁: Wait until it gets ripe.
A₂: Bury it! You were only supposed to hold its nose until it turned blue.

Q: How did the cheerleader die?

A: She tried to catch an elephant doing a split.

Q: How does an elephant get out of a phone booth?
A: Same way she got in.

Q: Why don’t elephants ride bicycles?
A: They don’t have thumbs to ring the bell.

Q: What weighs 5,000 pounds and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant!

Q: What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks, and 2 trunks?
A: An elephant with spare parts.

Q: What’s large and gray and goes around and around in circles?
A: An elephant stuck in a revolving door.

Q: What do elephants have that no other animals have?
A: Baby elephants.

Q: Why do elephants stomp on people?
A: They like the squishy feeling between their toes.

Q: What game do elephants like to play most?
A: Squash!

Q: What did the cat say to the elephant?
A: “Meow!”

Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So they can hide upside-down in the custard.

Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.

Q: How do you catch an elephant?
A: Wait at a street corner, and when you see the elephant raise your hand and yell, “Yo, elephant!”

Q: How does an astronomer catch an elephant?
A: With a telescope, a matchbox, and a pair of tweezers. Go to the jungle, and when you see an elephant, turn the telescope the wrong way around and look through it. The elephant will now be so small that you can pick it up with the tweezers and put it in the matchbox.

Q: How does a programmer catch an elephant?
A: Fly to Cape Town and head east. When you reach the ocean, go slightly north and head west. Keep repeating this until you see an elephant, then grab it.

Q: How does an experienced programmer catch an elephant?
A: The same way; but before you start, you place an elephant at Gibraltar, so you won’t fall into the Mediterranean if there are no elephants.

Q: How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
A: Take out all the matches first.

Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
A: Wet.

Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.

Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him “lunch”.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Wait for it to run away.

Q: What was the elephant doing on the freeway?
A: About 5 miles per hour.

Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free parking.

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.

Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don’t be stupid, elephants can’t change light bulbs!

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q: How do you know if an elephant’s been sleeping in your bed?
A: Peanut shells under the pillow.

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant in your bed right now?
A: He has a big ‘E’ on his pajamas’ jacket pocket.

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don’t want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn’t it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

Q: Why are elephants’ feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.

Q: Why isn’t it safe to go into the pond between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
A: That’s when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.

Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.

Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.

Q: What’s more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car.

Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby’s forehead.

Q: Why did the elephant wear sunglasses?
A: With all the silly elephant jokes going around, it didn’t want to be recognized.

Q: What do elephants do for laughs?
A: They tell people jokes.

cellular truth

impish eyes, crooked teeth and a dimpled smile gazed at me from the screen, as I saw little Stanley recite a poem at his Rosey Maam. Popping Caramel Popcorn in my mouth, I smiled along with him, allowing the director complete access to play with my emotions as the movie worn out. 

This is not a movie review. Ok fine, for a review here is the shortest version of it. Well made - as it captures the innocence of childhood moments in the minute details of reacting to science teachers, the hum drum of the good mornings, the spying on the hot teacher, group dynamics and the banter that boys make lives about. You have a sense of Tare Zammen Pe dejavu, you wish part 2 moved a bit faster and the director realized that he had made his point in frame one vs frame 12 but the kid makes up for the repetitions. 

A lot of credit goes to the child artists, for the sheer naturalness of their reactions. Even when the dialouges are lame, the innocence of their impy faces carries the moment through. Overall, don't go look for a flawless film, look for a honest-ish film and you will be all right. Ok, not even that honest, because lots of kids may not even be as lucky as Stanley was, but honest-ish is still a good word. 

(Random thought number #456- why are most movies involving kids and schools made around boys and boy schools?? Personally I think its because boys just have more fun, doing this, making planes, spitting, fighting whatever, vs girls where conversations dominate action and they are content to sit around and talk a lot more than do silly things.. am biased.. yikes!)

Right so movie review over. 

My reaction to the movie in my own very view was very very sweet. Instead of reflecting on the message behind the movie, and the truth it conveyed, etc etc .-- I focused on the other very crucial aspect of the movie

the mystery of dabbas

One of the most vivid memories of my school time, is this. 

Mom being a teacher, for a while used to go to the same school as me. The rule of the house was YOU MUST FINISH YOUR TIFFIN EVERDAY. Failure to do so, would not result in beatings, but torturous sessions about Africans kids not been given enough to eat, or WORSE being asked by the maid or mom depending on who caught you with the leftovers, as to what is it that you wanted in your tiffin, so that there was no reason to complain. 

This is where it got tricky. 

For my entire life, eveyrones elses tiffins looked far more appealing than mine. When I asked Mom to make that what I envied, it somehow never tasted as good in my own box and would end up not eating the special request- RESULT - more kids in africa seemed to die.. sigh!!!

So devious me, at the age of 8 (class 4 am guessing is that age) made a strategic plan. In hindsight I was as obvious as a monkey wearing a red jacket yelling watch me, watch me on the road, but in an 8 year olds head I was a genius.

The plan was. 

Step 1 - Get off the bus faster than mom. Mostly failed, as teachers sat in the front and got off earlier. 

Step 2-  Mutter and panic, at failed step one, walk faster than mother to reach colony gates. Also often failed as I would have a 12 kilo bag and she none. Not to mention mother thought that this was a perfect time for 'quality time' with daughter. 

Step 3 -  With the looming presence of the house coming closer, shorter breaths would mean i needed to take drastic action. Would pretend to have a sun allergy, or spot a random dog/cat/stone/moving grass/imaginary friend that needed my immediate attention.

Step 4- Dash with 13 kilo bag to they by lanes, make sure mom is not within eye distance, unclasp bag, haul out tiffin, throw out contents, BREATHE!!! curse arfica and the rest and then shove tiffin in, clasp bag, whistle or pretend to whistle a tune.. and trot back to the house

Step 5 - Get home and praise the tiffin

Think other than step 5 i had got the others nailed down pretty well. Secretly nervous about being a disaster tiffin making person, I did the reverse test to myself today morning. 

After being rudely awakened by the newspaper vala, who insisted on HAND DELIVERING the paper to me at 6.30 AM!!! who does that in the morning and why???? was wide awake with no desire to open the paper and have the world leap at me just yet.

Opened the door of the veranda, walked to the kitchen and made my own dabba. 

one for me, one for the roomie

cut, boiled, garnished, fried

packed and sat back with a smile of contentment

I got my own dabba to work today, and ate it all. Mommy i promise to be nicer to urs dabbas now too. promise!

Punjabi Bahu

Had the weirdest dream last night. For the people who know me, the moment I mention this I am sure you will crack up laughing. 

So last night, after being a  couch potato for the whole day.

(Saw tv all day long. Yes it was a Monday, Yes I do have a life and office, and yes I saw TV all day ;-) .. here is what happened, drank a big glass of bitter tasting water melon juice, sat in an auto, was bumped around, burped several times, thought about morning sickness. came home, crashed into the loo, hurled and heaved the watermelon juice out, plonked on the bed and never moved)

General Knowledge updates included. 

1. Cigerettes and Coffee- a french movie with random snippets of people consuming the above. fell asleep half way through
2. urban legends - college kids keep dying
3. hollow man 2
4. son of shark - very bad dont see
5. hells kitchen- monster chef pretending to be a dr jakel and mr hyde character and doing a good job of it
6. 20 minutes of enemy of the state, diamonods are the girls best fried, my super ex gf, fantastic four and troy
7. aladin. 

Thats a lot of TV to watch, for anyone in a day. As i dozed off to the 30th snippet of coffee and cigarettes, there was a dream that rose from the depths of my subconsciousness. It involved me dreaming about how for some reason i am married and am a Punjabi Bahu. think it was something to do with the 20 minutes of  a hindi movie called out of control that I saw that had random characters like Mango and Jelly walking the streets of New York, looking for the married man who had abandoned his village wife

Never mind.

So in my dream, I am married to this bloke a simpleton fellow. The family is raising eyes at me and my behaviour - consisting of holding hands, -big frown. wanting to not eat after anyone else - bigger frown, generally jumping around and being a couch potato bigger frown. So fed up I finally sit in an auto that is being driven by a woman auto driver who can only go at the speed of 10; certainly not fast enough to escape the draconian father in law, so I end up driving the auto myself. Which was a lot of fun and think made the dream happy. 

Through it all though, a nagging thought was constantly there. Like a jagged piece of thorn, the reminder that there was something that i was forgetting, this morning when i did wake up minus the salwar kameez, the aloo parathas, the draped and bowed head, there thing i was forgetting came back!!! I wasnt a good old punjabi bahu who had to worry most about making sure there was the right amount of sugar in the kheer!!!

Wheeww what a relief ;-)

Also made me realize that no matter what, I just cannot ever be made to do the arranged marriage thing, the poor sod i was dream married to quivered at the very sight of me.. hheee

MNC or Family Businesses?

As a consultant, often there is a lot of work that ones does with professionally managed family concerns. These are huge enterprises, with businesses generating a few crores, a legacy that can be traced often to the early 1900's and a plethora of businesses that may often range from mining to selling mobile chargers, the sheer spectrum is amazing. 

However, the 'professionally managed' tag to me seems very hilarious a term. in my limited experience, it often takes a large amount of egolessness for the chairman/ceo who is the son of the legacy to be just that. the CEO and not become the mafia god. 

Let me explain 

Family owned business, with an active chairperson have almost got an anal string on the decision making process. By default this implies that all the routine tasks of everyday funtioning are delegated while the key actions that may make or break a company held safe. Having made the decision, implementation is delegated without often delegating the requisite power/authority/resources that go with it. Result lop sided growth, where the employee tries hard to be the change, and is thwarted by meddlesome processes of detailing each action to an non involved boss. 

Getting to more fundamental basics, it also often causes an employee to become subsurvient. In most actions, there is a 'homage to the legacy' that becomes critical. The lifestyle of the owner becomes the informal environment of the company.

Take for example, a large flashy company that has risen the ranks, and over the past 20 years invested lots into brand building. AND MADE IT. everything about this company now, from the office, the branding, the company employees, the language is about LARGE! making it big, noisy, flashy, scale.. IMPOSE. The employees too are that, agressive, loud and culturally adopting the practices of a winner

Cut to company 2. Same industry, different mindset. Here the conglomeration was headed by a family that exhibited humbleness in its dealings, but the family name was to be protected at all costs. It was not unnatural to see some head of business, walking up the family chairman and bowing low before the start of the day. Somehow something about it also did not seem ass licking, but more like 'parampara' ..... Would have made me smile, but the location of it in an annual conference was more jarring than soothing.

In all these establishments, addressing one by their first name is frowned upon, luxuries like secretarial assistance are common, the pace of work is intense but one understands the needs of family and self time, there is a laid back attitude that the offices speak of, where the machineries clank in a rhythm of their own creation. Productive but unhurried. 

Walk into any of the other MNC"S the classical Pepsicos, or the new age banks and the very first difference is in the intangible office environment. Silent cubicles, layers of security men, casual attire yet feeling of movement subtly in the air, the conference rooms having strange names and the feeling of 'namelessness' of employees. 

The company seems larger than the person. and the individuals recognise their impermanence rather thrive in it as it allows them to do and leave. Not attachment is the motto. Or rather fuck this shit, the moment the shit crosses and unknown line.

In contrast for all its slowness, the family business seem to have got something right in the relationship building department. Agreed that the people who have stuck on over the years, are conventionally older and of another generation but there has to have been something more than money, that made them stay. 10 years., 15 years or sometimes even 20 years are the durations that one sticks on in these jobs.

As a wannabe corporate person, in my early 20's I found the stifling atmosphere of lordmandship that hovered in family businesses unbearable. As a consultant, I find the love and concern of these families towards their business, adorable. As long as I am not 'under the thumb' of anyone its fine, but the thing is, each of them offer something to you. If you know what makes you tick, it makes decision making much easier. 

Mafia-ed u are in any case! 

Temptations Mistresses

A deep sigh, is the feeling that best explains the mode and the tone behind this post.

Temptation is a bitch, she slides in cloaked in mystery, seductively easy to attain and often just lies beyond reach. Swaying by herself, displaying contentment, she is alluring, mysterious and softly smiles to herself; as she moves out of your eyesight. But even then one gets the feeling that she hasn’t gone. She has merely gone to dance somewhere else. You my friend are marked. She sees you, sees through you and knows you are the one.

One of those – the ones who are seeking something from life they cant explain, the one who wants marriage and security, yet wants to be able to momentarily live the underwired life, the life of being a nobody, identity less where the rules of interaction are not about name, career, age or status, but about seduction, interaction, creation and deduction. To get lost to find themselves, and she – the tempteress of seduction sees that, her glittering eyes gleaming at her next bait and slides off, scheming her devious plots

Ah. But you are on to her. There is nothing that she can do to you. Because you see, you are aware and real.  You know her tricks, have been there before. This time you are sure. Now its another stage of life, a marriage a family a child, the life of maturity beckons. It is time to bid her goodbye. Throw her out. Stamp her very existence and the moment she shows up, to deny her the comforts of your mind and heart.

Or so you think

A year passes with her dancing from the sidelines. A few more years she occasionally comes closer, never for more than a minute or two, just skirting you, a fleeting touch an embrace. Enough, to wake up that box covered sealed and thrown into the sea.

The next year, she sees the jadeness in your eyes, sees the body slump, the belly swell the exhaustion in your life.  Standing at the sidelines, she throws her hair back, smoothening it with her hands ready for the kill.

Before you know it, something changes. Spring appears in your life. There is a lightness to your legs, the phone is tempting. Concealed plans, hidden deeds, behaving like a teenager never seemed more fun. Guilt comes in as you turn the key to your house, watching your partner engrossed in her/his book, the heart feels a faint twitch.

But you love the partner, that’s home, that solid. This is  cloud, its gonna past race by as meaningless as a handshake exchanged in a conference room.  Rationality covers the heart. The conscience washed out in the shower. Tempation tiptoes in to the privacy of your bed room. Sleeping alongside you, prohibiting you from embracing your own life, your partner, your vices getting in the way of honesty

They will never find out. You ensure that. Careful and Discreet

They find out. They leave. Things change. Temptation plays her songs, the tempo is now steep. Devouring you and holding you in, you surface occasionally to breathe before diving back again.

She looses interest. You are not a challenge any more. A puppy in her hands. Becoming a weaker version. Concealment and Deceit the  co-conspirators leave from the door. Mundane is; what was once exotic.

Temptation hates mundane. Flees.

You turn the key into your house, and see the chair where they sat. You shower and there is nothing. You sleep the bed is empty. The tears come, the pillow soaks it in. Silent witnesses to the circle of life.

Chinese Thinkers Indian Servers

There was an article this morning regarding the Bamboo innovation of Chinese concerns, amognst other things it bemoaned the fact that there was no real innovation springing out of China, where 'real innovation' had been conveniently coined as the concept of 'breakthrough products' only. (http://www.economist.com/node/18648264?story_id=18648264&fsrc=rss)

But the article contended that China did what it did well. That is, was unparalleled in combining technology and getting products at a low cost in the market, having flexible production lineups, getting in place new gadgets based on re-engineered products and costs.

Bottom line even if Chinese firms are developing more than creating, it still is fulfilling a real need for masses of people beyond the limits of China, that in my limited view is innovation in any case. I have been associated with the world of innovation in the past 2  years and have often struggled to define the term and what it means.

In the Indian context too there isnt all that much to rave about, the moment one removes the frugal/nano innovation from its scope. Large centers here have also resorted to deploying a lot of energy into reverse creating products, or at best ensuring that the products are tweaked here and there. Juggad innovations abound, but rarely are these spur of the moment engineering tricks taken to the commercial scale parameters that define an successful innovation.

What however is a difference in mindset in both the countries is the level of dedication to discipline and control. Having read Tiger Mom, there is a huge overlap in the social mindset towards living a life. My thinking aloud take on it is, this

1. Indians as a race are a very content lot. they want more for themselves and there families but as a societial thing, there is a deep level of resignation and hence acceptance of things being half baked. This acceptance often seeps into the standards that they then expect from themselves. The quaility of work, service, or even simple operations are glazed with a 'it sort of works so deal with it attitude' am no expert on China, but the feeling that I get is that standard of what is acceptable from others is higher and hence the output one delivers to the world is higher too. Of course the quality of work here too is often not the best, but each person attempts to do more

2.  Indian parents and Chinese parents, what makes one differ from the other, is the huge societial expectation that spurs the parental expectation. ie a indian parent often wants his child to do A/B or C because Mr sharmas son is doing these things and not otherwise, if the kid wanted to do something very path breaking like an X, there better be a commercial stance to it to make sense. Indian parents need to see everything have an end goal it must amount to something tangible, be it a better chance of getting admission, a revenue source or at the very least access to a better school.

The same thing applies to the child raising process. Keeping the window open only to the urban niche population the child rearing has become a treadmill job, there each child is made to do several things in the spam of a day. The intention being to expose and allow him to explore what all he can do. A mix of helicoptering and tiger mommying is done, but the key difference is that often its enough that the kid does these activities, without having to demonstrate excellence in any.

Thats the mindset again, as long as you are seen doing this or that, the need to be a champion is not that high, we are content to believe that something is happeneing, some growth will be done and let it go at that level.

Wonder how I reached here from where I began

Tiger Mom- Mothers Day

Mothers day was on Sunday, in my little brain it took place on Friday and so I spent most of the day plotting what I could do for mommy dear. Idea planned and executed, feeling good I proceeded to the airport. Landed at the wrong terminal, zoomed to the other one and then moved to sit in the aisle seat of a rather uncomfortable, steadily shrinking spice jet seat,  where the plane refused to fly because the pilots were having an issue deciding what seat to sit on.  Or that’s what the airhostess said.

Anyway, am a little late in commenting on a topic that has been debated, raged and forgotten by the world at large, but it was only last week that I read the phenomena called


Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom’

Time rated her as part of the top 100 people who influenced our thinking, NY times article on her book raised a storm in many a tea cup, and Chinese parents for the first time were applauded for being who they were.

The book starts with a list of things that a Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires. Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do: 

•  have a playdate 
•  be in a school play 
•  complain about not being in a school play
•  not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama 
•  play any instrument other than the piano or violin/ not play the piano or violin

The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin. Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene: "According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:

1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse. 

2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality. 

3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!

Anyway, the details of how she brings up her two kids is well narrated with a very honest assessment of herself as a mother, the one parent who was willing to be hated if that is what it took to ensure that her daughters reached the pinnacles that they could attain for themselves.

As I shut the book and exited the plane, I pondered over something that my mother had said just that afternoon. “ Sometimes I think I offered too much choice to you and your brother, maybe if there was more decisions made on your behalf you would have actually done more than play endless hours of hide and seek’

I sat back and reflected. Someone recently said that childhood was about lots of things, one of the crucial ones being foundation building, ensuring that your child finds the avenues to express themselves in myriad ways so that they can choose the ones that they then would take. In the liberal parenting school, children are seen as individuals, as choice makers capable of thinking through for themselves and deciding. Free will and actions perculate down to that level.

In other schools, the understanding is that a child has to be made to stick to something before they realized what they are good at. Practice, Perseverance and Perfection come only when children are compelled to do something over and over again. The transition of a hobby into a ‘passion’  occurs when a person knows that they are good/great/magnificent in something. In her book, Chua categorically states that Chinese parents believe that their kids are magnificent in everything and hence they are made to excel in all that they do.

A line from the book however refuses to retire from my mind. 

Chuas mother in law, was one of those feisty women with a fiery personality, a child of the 60’s with a firm belief in self discovery, time with nature, free flowing thoughts, good taste and fine life that came from an understanding of culture.

She kept asking Chua that she be allowed to spend 1 day, or even just one afternoon with the kids, go to the waterfall, swim in the pool, bake cookies and do the things grannies and grandkids do.

They never had one afternoon free. 

In the pursuit of excellence, they had to ensure that they were in music school, or practicing at home, or excelling in maths and ensuring that they were getting A’s and never B’s. The completion was with oneself and the other, the deeper question remained who was the completion organizer. The mother or the child.

As the book, started to end, the tone too altered. From the battle chanting tiger mom the person with the answers and the firm conviction that Chinese way of parenting was indeed the one and only solution, there was a softening stance. The battle hymns gave space to lower chants, rock and roll made an appearance and choice was allowed to make a stage appearance.

Close friends are becoming parents, some of them are not the most disciplined souls themselves, but one cant help and wonder if as parents, what will be their stance, Chinese Tigers or Indian deer. Leaping and moving from one to the other?

underworld

The underworld life.

These are incidents that came into my life in the past 24 hours, random stories that were shared by people in the course of an evening.  There is nothing alarming about them, just an reflection of the Indian canvas that never ceases to explore.

Diva boy called breathless with excitement because he had been called to the dream event of his lifetime, where the person was to come as a threesome. Any combination was a justified, any drug was permitted and anything was allowed to occur. An exploring bisexual, for him it was a dream event with the ooh laaa laas there to applaud and cheer the explorations of mankind. Diva boy, incidentally having opened up this facet of himself has been blessed with experiences galore of kink, threesomes, teeth pulled clothes, night long conversations and wordless intimacies. In a city that makes a kaleidoscope look like  a plane jane, there are new age children who are either recklessly heading towards boredom or are jubilantly appreciating their lives for the here and now, where it ends is anybody’s guess.

A person shared an incident, where the star of a latest Bollywood hit was smashed out of his wits at a Prodigy concert. He was shoved around by the bouncers all over the place and kept yelling that he was now important and they could not do this to him, when it got too much he yelled and said ‘yaar maat karo mere izzat ka kya hoga’ hahahaha, apparently he was so so drunk that the bouncers took him backstage, shoved him into a car and were stripping him to take pictures and sell it for a scoop to a magazine when they were sheepishly discovered by the crew.

2 friends were getting married, and the jai mala was about to take place. A green age newly aware about everything environmental, they suddenly shrieked a piercing yell into the sky, as they saw that the garlands were made of dead flowers. Cut flowers were wilting and bound to die. New relationships cannot be begun with dead flowers and they horrified sent their families to find sandalwood malas that were to replace these. Forgetting that these sandalwood malas are what are used to garland those dead.. Sigh the new age fundas sometimes get to be a bit more than not

A friend organized a conference in Maldives, where top IT businessmen were escorted for fun. One of these dealers was being taken to his car in those golf carts that you drive from place to place. The driver was a women, in the night, an obvious statement that she wanted to be laid, comeon why else would she be driving him to his room? Or so he thought, and so decided to drag her to his room. Another guy was mesermerised by a german lady he met in the corridor and in a phase of spontaneous love decided  to hug and smooch her. She however was not in a very loving mood and got his ass sent packing right back home.. the lovely Indian ambassadors that we harbor is amazing.

There was the experience of a man who took 2 years to head on 5 dates, a couple vacationing in the high Himalayas who were shocked to see hairy boxer clad men, semi naked plunge into pools of sulphur water and yell in glee. They sat holed up in their room and didn’t budge for day 1, 2 and 3.

In the mean time, my closest friend and dearest enemy who is reading this post for sure is truly going under.. water and meeting sharks in those exotic places and nations whose names start with Z. He must have been an eagle in his past life, soaring over and over one nation wondering where all to land.

Wondering what today shall expose.